"Discovering Peace"- an honest book about adoption

I’m happy to be part of Jennifer Holt’s blog tour for her new book “Discovering Peace.”

First things first. Jennifer Holt is my sister and I love her books. If you are hoping to get an unbiased review of “Discovering Peace” then you aren’t going to get it from me. Of course you should read “Discovering Peace” which is the sequel to “Delivering Hope” which you should also read.

The adoption and infertility story genre is an interesting thing. I’ve read a fair few of these books and found most of them to be frustratingly pedestrian or else outright offensive.

Here’s the thing: My wife and I, like many members of my family, Jennifer included, have struggled with infertility. My wife and I finally have a son after a decade of heartbreak and struggle. We didn’t adopt, however. One day my wife discovered, against the predictions of medical professionals, that she was pregnant. We had been going through the arduous process of adoption but jumped out when we discovered the pregnancy. Jennifer had a similar story but stayed in and she has her two sons to thank for that. We didn’t feel it was right for us so we jumped out. Different people, even closely related, have different needs and different paths to follow when forming a family.

That is one crux of the matter. A lot of adoption stories paint a picture as in “This is how life should be.” Granted I may be looking for trouble as I approach such books with more than a bit of defense.  “No,” I say to the books and the authors who write them. “Your explanation of the process is dishonest because it presupposes that you are the world and your experience is the end-all.”

The other problem is how authors treat the concept of having a baby, however that baby is brought into a family, as a divine reward for good living and, on the other end of the scale, how not having a baby is divine punishment for gross sin. These two issues are total B. S.

Getting pregnant is 100 percent biological. Sure, in the dark nights were you are awake only with feelings of sorrow and hopelessness the fears that maybe the reason everyone else in the world gets babies while you get nothing- yes, you will wonder what you did wrong or how you are unworthy. That is a truthful feeling to represent but so many of these adoption or infertility stories use that as a story device. “Oh,” the book says. “If only the husband didn’t look at pornography when he was in high school the family could have a baby.” Or “If only the wife didn’t decide to have a career.”  These are two real examples of plotlines in infertility stories. I’m not suggesting that looking at porn is in any way comparable to a woman choosing to have a career.

The thing about Jennifer’s book is that it confronts these emotions, emotions lesser books use as their main thesis, and turns them around showing that not only are these concepts not the truth, they are barriers to the ultimate truth- that is the ultimate truth of Jesus Christ’s atonement.

These points are driven home hard including a particularly terrifying scene featuring a rose and an object lesson. If you liked the hard talk in Jennifer’s first book you’ll love this one.

So! In “Delivering Hope” Olivia and Michael adopt young Ally’s unexpected pregnancy baby Hope and everything seems to be just about perfect. I’m so glad Jennifer decided to go on with the story.

One of the main strengths of these books is how realistic and non-cliché the characters are and in 
“Discovering Peace” the realism takes center stage. Turns out, Olivia’s insecurities brought on by infertility didn’t magically go away after she adopted Hope- even though she had a very real confrontation with the Atonement. Likewise, Ally’s self esteem and shame didn’t magically go away because she happened to follow exactly what her Bishop told her to do.

Also, having your name on an adoption list is a hard thing to do. It’s all about waiting for someone else to decide the fate of your family. This book also showcases one of the tougher elements I found of being on an adoption list- the marketing yourself as a family. Don’t just wait, look. Hand out cards saying you are looking for a baby and if anyone happens to have one to spare… Mix that with the judgmental nature adoptions have to have and it can be infuriating.

That’s the hard and brave thing to try and show in a story that, ultimately, is supposed to inspire people facing adoption in its various iterations. You can do everything right and still feel wrong- that’s just how it is.

Likewise, the characters themselves are heartbreakingly real. Ally, especially, is kind of dorky around guys she likes though she is far from a cypher for reader- or author- projection. She is startlingly real as she cheers at a BYU football game with a guy she likes but worries about sitting next to him. With that reality, an almost banal reality, as the basis of the story all other aspects work that much more believably.

After all, the story is about adoption and infertility but it’s also about how life just doesn’t always go the way you thought it should- and that’s for the best. From Ally’s mantra of  “I can do hard things” comes the lesson that life in general is a hard thing and, yes, we can do it.

So! Go visit Jennifer’s blog at www.authorjenniferannholt.com . She is offering a giveaway including a $20 gift card to Amazon and a prize pack including a signed copy of both of her books. I’d enter but I already have signed copies. Cuz she’s my sister and she has to give that kind of stuff to me.

Also, to order the book HERE!!!!. Go do that now why not.