I’ve now gone seven days as a Vegesaurous, which I think is
a cooler and tougher sounding name than Vegan. Still, no one knows what you're
talking about when you say Vegesaurous so I’ll stick with Vegan. At least out
loud. Inside I’m a vegesaurous.
I feel different, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
My energy is all over the place. I swing from periods of intense energy, we’re
talking five RedBull energy levels, to periods where I can’t lift my arm off
the couch. I’m not hungry all the time like I seemed to be before, but I’m not
satisfied ever. I can finish a tasty, huge meal of vegetables, fruit, and grain
and feel full, but not satisfied.
And then there is the poop. I hate to talk about poop but in
my quest to study what it’s like to turn vegan I have to take the lid of the
toilet, so to speak.
So far, every poo is an emergency and it’s unlike anything
I’ve poo’d before. When the feeling comes I have very little time to get to the
toilet.
It’s the consistency that’s odd and I can’t quite think of
an appropriate comparison. It’s airy. Air bubbles actually come up after it’s
sitting in the bowl. The nearest thing I can compare it to is a shedded snake
skin.
If you are brave I have a photo of it here.
Now, I’ve not been 100 percent vegan. I’ve messed up three
times. First, I went to Cracker Barrel with my parents and ordered their
“Wholesome Veggie Platter” which is essentially three side items. I got a
salad, a plain sweet potato and baby carrots. I realized, after I already ate
them, that the carrots were cooked in butter. Second, I made a milkshake for my
wife. As I was bringing it to her, it started to drip down the side so I,
reflexively, slurped a bit down. Third, I went to Noodles and Company and
ordered the curry, spinach bowl thing with tofu. It was very tasty and, it
turns out, has some milk in it. Other than that I’ve been 100 percent.
People have been generally supportive. No one has outright
tried to tempt me into eating animal products. I’ve got a lot of questions
about what I can or can’t eat and I’ve had some gentle teasing. The worst part
was when I went to Zuppas and asked if a salad dressing was vegan. The guy
looked at my face, then to my gut and back to my face in confusion. “How is a
fatty like you vegan?” he seemed to think. I think my wife is
getting a little sick of it because going out to eat is much more of an ordeal
than it was before. This world is set up for omnivores. Also, it’s more expensive
than I thought it would be. I think I’d better get into the beans and rice
mindset rather than the quinoa dried fruit salad mindset before I go
broke.
I crave animal products more than I thought I would. A
billboard for a hamburger get’s my mouth watering- a literal thing that hasn’t
really happened to me before. A whiff of hotdogs has me thinking the only food
I ever wanted was a hot dog. The sight of a piece of cheese get’s me weak in
the knees. You get the idea.
My favorite vegan recipe this week was a Tortilla Soup I got
from the Forks Over Knives app. It was great. Throw a bunch of whole vegetables
in a pot, add a cup of water, cook and then blend. It’s one of my favorite
soups now. Recipe below:
Tortilla Soup
Ingredients
• 6 corn tortillas
• sea salt
• 6 large tomatoes
• 8 oz mushrooms
• 2 red bell peppers
• ½ yellow onion
• 3 cloves garlic
• 2 tsp ground cumin
• 2 chipotle chilli peppers
• 5-7 sprigs fresh cilantro
• 2 tsp smoked mild paprika
• ½ tsp chili powder
• 2 cups corn
• 2 cups green peas
• ½ cup green onions
• 1 avocado
• ½ lemon
Method
• Preheat the oven to 400°F. Line a baking
sheet with parchment paper.
• Cut the tortillas into¼-inch strips and
spread on the baking sheet. Bake until crispy, 20 to 25 minutes. Set aside.
• Meanwhile, place the tomatoes, bell
peppers, mushrooms, onion, garlic, cumin powder, chipotle chiles, cilantro
sprigs, and 1 cup water in a large soup pot or Dutch oven. Bring to a boil over
high heat. Reduce the heat to medium, and simmer, covered, stirring
occasionally, until the vegetables are tender, 20 to 30 minutes.
• Remove and discard the chiles and
cilantro sprigs. Transfer the soup to a blender or food processor. Blend until
smooth.
• Pour the mixture back into the pan. Add
the smoked paprika, chili powder, salt to taste, and 2 cups water. Bring to a
boil over medium-high heat, then reduce the heat to medium and simmer until the
soup thickens, about 10 minutes.
• Add the corn and peas and cook until
tender but still crisp, about 5 minutes.
To serve, garnish each serving of soup with green onions,
cilantro, avocado, tomatoes, if using, and the reserved corn strips. Squeeze
some lemon juice on top.
I made some changes. I used store bought corn tortilla chips
rather than make my own because ain’t no one got time for that. I also didn’t
worry about the garnishes like avocado and green onions. I added a can of black
beans- it made a huge difference. I also didn’t use any cilantro- it tastes
like dish soap to me.
There’s something else to talk about. How vegan am I going
to be? Looking through various vegan message boards and blogs it turns out that
some think I’m not much of a vegan at all. My shampoo, for instance, was likely
tested on animals or may have animal fat in it. I eat products that have
refined sugar in them and refined sugar is refined using bone char- like
charcoal but with cow bones instead of wood.
The attitude of some vegans is trying to find a more pure
level of veganism. No leather, of course (though I have a leather belt and
wallet and don’t really want to spend the money to buy new ones), nothing
tested on animals, no yard products that could harm animals. Nothing shipped
too far just in case the transportation used hurt animal habitat. It can get
crazy far.
The idea that there is a “best” way to eat is a compelling
one, but ultimately flawed I think. Surprisingly, and I never
thought I’d say this, PETA seems to be the reasonable ones. I know Freaking
PETA. I hate PETA almost as much as I hate Cilantro. PETA has spread so much
misinformation about farmers and farming the active harm they’ve done is hard
to calculate, but it’s big. I’m not endorsing PETA in any way, but their
definition of veganism is one I can live with. For three months at least. From
their website:
People who have made the compassionate decision to
stop eating animal flesh, eggs, and dairy products may wonder if they need to
read every ingredient to check for tiny amounts of obscure animal products. Our
general advice is not to worry too much about doing this. The goal of sticking
to a vegetarian or vegan diet is to help animals and reduce suffering; this is
done by choosing a bean burrito or a veggie burger over chicken flesh, or
choosing tofu scramble over eggs, not by refusing to eat an otherwise vegan
food because it has 0.001 grams of monoglycerides that may possibly be
animal-derived.
We discourage vegetarians from grilling waiters at
restaurants about micro-ingredients in vegetarian foods (e.g., a tiny bit of a
dairy product in the bun of a veggie burger). Doing so makes sticking to a
vegetarian diet seem difficult and dogmatic to your friends and to restaurant
staff, thus discouraging them from giving a vegetarian diet a try (which really
hurts animals). And we urge vegetarians not to insist that their food be cooked
on equipment separate from that used to cook meat; doing so doesn’t help any
additional animals, and it only makes restaurants less inclined to offer
vegetarian choices (which, again, hurts animals).
So that’s my standard then- of course by that standard I
still failed three times this week, but I imagine I’ll get better.
